


Old Habits

by galaxystiel



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Demisexual Castiel, M/M, Making Up, Past Relationship(s), Post-Break Up, Reconciliation, Single Parent Dean, Teacher Castiel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-29
Updated: 2015-09-29
Packaged: 2018-04-24 01:15:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4899922
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/galaxystiel/pseuds/galaxystiel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Ben comes home complaining his teacher is singling him out, Dean decides he's going to have a word with this damn Mr Novak and find out exactly what's going on. He's not prepared for a blast from his past.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Old Habits

Dean looked up from where he was stirring the spaghetti in the pot as he heard the front door close. Well, it was more of a slam. He winced as he realised Ben was home and it didn’t sound like he’d had a good day. For some reason, according to Ben, his teacher had taken a dislike to him. Dean was sure this wasn’t true, but every day this week Ben had come home miserable and upset because he felt like he’d been singled out.

“In here, buddy. I’m making spaghetti,” he called out, smiling at Ben warmly as he trudged into the room.

“I’m not all that hungry. Mr. Novak gave me a ton of homework to do. Said I had to redo my essay because I didn’t put enough effort in it. He said if it wasn’t done by tomorrow then he’d talk to Coach about having me kicked off the soccer team.” The look on Ben’s face betrayed how upset he was at that prospect. Dean had never seen his stepson with that expression before, and he never wanted to see him look like that again.

They’d discussed the possibility of him going in to talk to his teacher, but Dean wanted to see if it was just a misunderstanding, if things were just being blown out of proportion. This seemed to back up Ben’s side of things, plus it was outrageous that someone would use the threat of removing him from the team. Dean had never met Mr. Novak, but he’d had enough of his stepson coming home miserable. Since Lisa had passed, the role of Ben’s parent had fallen to him, and he would be damned if he didn’t do it properly.

Before Dean could reply, Ben left the kitchen, heading up to his room. Dean knew that he wouldn’t be coming out until tomorrow, and the thought of spending another night in front of the TV made him sad. He wanted to take Ben to the movies; they’d been talking about the new Star Trek movie for a while and now it looked like they would have to postpone it again.

Jaw clenched, Dean fired off a text to Bobby, his boss, to say he would need to leave early the next day. He’d be going into school to have a word with Mr. Novak.

Sure enough, he did exactly that. When Ben came down in the morning with a still miserable expression, Dean assured him that he would get the matter settled. It wasn’t fair that school was affecting his home life.

He was there before the final bell, but waited for Ben to come out first. As soon as he saw his stepson, he walked over, following him through to the correct classroom. Politeness dictated that he knocked on the door first, despite wanting to barge in and demand to know why the douchebag was bullying his son. When Mr. Novak opened the door, Dean’s body froze and he stared at him in a mixture of shock and horror.

He opened and closed his mouth a few times and then spoke up weakly. “Cas…”

“Dean,” Castiel stared at Dean with the same shock, but his expression was laced with sadness and pain, and he couldn’t meet his eyes for long. “What on earth are you doing here?”

With those words, Dean straightened up and his expression hardened. Right, despite the fact that he and Cas knew each other long ago, he was here about Ben. “I want to know why Ben comes home upset every night, claiming that you’re singling him out. Why you’re threatening to have him removed from the soccer team if he doesn’t complete more work than the rest of the class. Why you think it’s acceptable for your teaching to upset a _child_ enough that he spends all night in his room?”

Castiel’s own expression hardened, mirroring Dean’s, and he stepped out of the classroom to close the door behind him, starting to walk down the hall. “Follow me, please. I believe this matter should involve the principal. I will not have my teaching abilities and conduct called into question by _you_ of all people, _Mr. Winchester_. I would prefer to have this dealt with properly.” He spat, eyes shining with anger.

It hurt to see the same detached coldness on Castiel’s expression that had been there years ago, the last time they saw each other. It brought back too many memories that Dean and forced himself to repress. He’d sworn he wouldn’t spend another second moping over Castiel Shurley, as he was called back then. No wonder Dean hadn’t recognised the name. He must have married.

That knowledge felt like a shard of ice plunging through his chest, and his right hand slid into his pocket to clutch his keys, knuckles whitening from the firm grasp.

Ben was puzzled as to how his teacher and stepdad knew each other, looking between them with a frown. Dean just reached out to pat his shoulder, letting him know it was going to be okay. It didn’t matter how he knew Castiel. That was ancient history.

He felt no better by the time he’d left the principal’s office. The principal, a sneering man called Mr. Crowley, had outlined that Ben was showing greater intelligence than was normal for his age. Castiel, _Mr. Novak_ , had simply spotted this and was giving Ben the opportunity to show the extent of that intelligence. The threat about removing him from the soccer team had been referring only to limiting his practice time, not taking him off the team completely. Ben admitted that he might have gotten that wrong, but Castiel also admitted he’d been deliberately vague with his threat as an attempt at motivation.

“If you feel it’s necessary, we could remove Ben from Mr. Novak’s class and have him placed in Ms. Harvelle’s class instead,” Crowley offered smoothly, leaning forward on his desk. “To allay any … concerns you might have about Mr. Novak.”

Dean risked a glance at Castiel and saw a look of alarm in his gaze, before his whole expression quickly dulled. As a mechanic, Dean didn’t know a lot about the way teaching worked, but he imagined that having a student removed from his class might stain Castiel’s record. His probably unblemished record, if he was still a stickler for perfection like he used to be.

“That won’t be necessary,” Dean murmured, placing his hand on Ben’s shoulder. “I’m sure Mr. Novak is a fine teacher and things will settle down. Thank you for your time.”

He knew Castiel was behind him as he steered Ben into the parking lot, but he didn’t pay him any attention until he’d made sure his stepson was safely in the Impala, and then he wheeled around.

“You have something to say, Cas?” Dean demanded.

Castiel stepped forward, swallowing thickly. “Mr. Winches–”

“Dean not good enough for you anymore?” Dean asked harshly, effectively cutting him off. “It’s Mr. Winchester now? After everything, Cas? You’d think the fact that we were _engaged_ once would mean that you’re allowed to use my first name.”

“You broke my heart,” Castiel spat, fists clenching and relaxing like he wanted nothing more than to grab onto Dean and shake him. His eyes had brightened in anger, practically glowing. “You don’t get to take such liberties and then throw this back in my face when I try to maintain a professional courtesy. You’re the father of one of my students. The fact that I loved you once means nothing. We both moved on.”

He stepped back instantly, regretting his display of anger, and his hands shook as he smoothed down the front of his shirt. “I think we’re done here, Mr. Winchester. I don’t expect to see you again until parents evening.”

He walked away, leaving Dean staring after him desolately. Maybe he was to blame back then, and maybe he was to blame this time, but it didn’t change the fact that it still destroyed him to watch Castiel walk away from him.

Swallowing, he got into the car, knowing he was about to be bombarded with questions by Ben, and he really wasn’t in the mood to deal with them. Still, his stepson deserved some answers, and so he gave them.

“How do you know Mr. Novak? You talked like you were friends once.”

Dean sighed, pulling out of the parking lot and focusing on driving. “We were more than that. He was my best friend for a long time. We were going to get married. If I believed in the crap your uncle Sammy talks about … Cas was my soulmate.”

Ben seemed to struggle through a million questions, probably to do with Dean’s sexuality and believing in soulmates and whether Dean had ever loved his mom, before he settled on a single question. “What happened?”

Sighing again, Dean clenched his jaw and tried not to think about it. “He wanted to go to college and make something of himself. I was struggling with saving for college for Sammy, I couldn’t afford to go too. I wasn’t smart enough for college anyway. I knew he’d stay if I told him that, and I didn’t want to hold him back… so when I found out your mom was pregnant, I told him you were mine, and that I was choosing her.”

Ben stared at him in shock, and Dean could feel his stepson’s eyes on him in the mirror. “But you and my mom… you weren’t… you didn’t…”

Dean shook his head. “You know me and Lisa weren’t like that, Ben. I’m your stepdad by name because everyone thought we were. We had separate bedrooms. She needed me, and I love you like my own. But your mom and I were never together. She wasn’t Cas, and I wasn’t your dad. It broke my heart when she died. I loved her, but I wasn’t in love with her.”

“Didn’t you ever tell him that? You could have told him when he’d gotten into college.” Ben spoke up meekly.

A wry smile on his face to try and cover his devastation, Dean shook his head. “I was going to. I planned to tell him I’d wait forever if he wanted me, that I was with your mom as a friend, but … two days after I broke up with him, he was gone. His dad punched me in the face when I went round there and nobody would tell me where he was. I never saw him again.”

“Until today.” Ben insisted, his naivety showing through, as if he expected that Dean could make things right now, after all these years.

“He’s married now, Ben. He was Castiel Shurley back then. There’s no point in dredging up the past now, because I missed my chance.” Dean gave a hollow laugh and made a turn off towards the Roadhouse, a diner run by an old family friend. “Let’s not talk about this anymore, huh? I’m in the mood for a burger. Let’s eat.”

The pit left in his stomach from seeing Castiel again after all these years didn’t fade. Not the next day, not the day after, nor the day after that. Two weeks on and Castiel was still all he could think about. After trying to forget about him for so long, all the old wounds had reopened. Dean wondered if Castiel’s new husband was good to him, treated him like he deserved. He hoped so. Breaking Castiel’s heart had been the worst decision he’d ever made, and every second since had been filled with regret. Dean would never regret choosing to be Ben’s father figure, but every other part of him ached.

It was Friday, and he’d taken the day off work. He’d told Bobby it was to relax, to get him back on track after two weeks of moping, but really it was to wallow in self-pity a little more. Still, Ben had seemed excited about his creative writing assignment, sure he was going to get a good grade on it. He hadn’t told Dean what it was about, hadn’t even let him look at it, but promised to when it had been graded.

He was at soccer practice now, then he would be spending the night at Sam and Jessica’s house. They’d both been glad to have him, particularly once Ben had dropped him in it about Castiel being his teacher. Dean had cursed his stepson’s big mouth, because now he’d been screening Sam’s calls all week. He didn’t want to have that discussion, for his kid brother to ask him if he was okay. He was fine, dammit. He _was_.

School had let up two hours ago, and Dean was sitting on the couch drinking a beer. It was still a little early, but he didn’t care, because nothing else seemed to take away the hollow feeling in his chest. He was waiting on a pizza, half pepperoni and half ham and mushroom. Something he’d never been able to shake ordering, even though he hated mushrooms with a passion.

When the doorbell rang, he set down his beer and reluctantly got up to answer it. “How much…” he trailed off when he saw that it wasn’t his pizza. “Cas,” he finished flatly. “What can I do for you?”

Castiel looked a little manic, his hair sticking up at all angles and his face red. He was panting, as if he’d been running, and his eyes were wide and hopeful. “Dean…” he choked, grabbing at his collar and pressing his lips to Dean’s.

Dean yanked back abruptly, his own eyes widening in shock. Was he dreaming? He couldn’t work out what was going on, but he knew he wasn’t doing it, whatever it was. Castiel hated him and it was deserved. There was no reason for him to be here. Kissing him.

“Did Ben get it wrong?” Castiel pulled away from Dean, deflated and shrinking in on himself. “I’m sorry, I … I feel like such a fool. I thought… but of course it’s been too long. Forgive me, I shouldn’t be here.”

Confused, Dean stared at Castiel as he backed away quickly, almost fleeing back down the path. “What the hell is going on, Cas? You turn up at my door and kiss me and… _you don’t get to walk away from me again_!” He snapped, storming after him to stop him from leaving. “Did Ben get _what_ wrong?”

“His essay,” Castiel choked, his eyes filling with tears and he tried to avoid Dean’s eyes. “He had to take an object from home and write a story about it. He wrote about us, about how you didn’t want to hold me back, that nothing ever happened between you and Lisa but you’re still his dad. Was it true? I… I didn’t believe it at first, but the object he wrote about… you kept it after all this time…”

Everything suddenly became clear and Dean grabbed at his pockets, fumbling for his keys. Taking them out, he saw the silver band that he’d used to propose to Castiel the day they graduated high school was gone.

“The sneaky son of a bitch…” he breathed, both impressed and furious that Ben had managed to steal his ring from under his nose. His expression guarded, Dean turned his eyes back to meet Castiel’s, a little hopeful.

“It’s true,” he admitted quietly. “You believed me without me having to persuade you, Cas, you know how much that hurt? That you were so ready to believe you were just another notch on the bedpost when I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you. I tried to make things right and explain, but you were gone and…”

Trailing off as he remembered Castiel was married now, Dean’s face fell and he turned away. “I’m sorry that Ben did this. I’m glad that I got the opportunity to explain myself, to tell you I never meant to hurt you and I didn’t just stop loving you and loving Lisa. Ben isn’t my kid, he never was. That’s why he has Lisa’s surname. I’m not even on his birth certificate, it was a bitch to get custody after the accident. I’m sorry about everything, Cas. I’m sorry that this all got dredged up again when you’re settled and happy. Ben’s just got this crap in his head about soulmates and true love and I’ve told him it’s not gonna happen.”

Castiel looked a little lost, a little heartbroken, but Dean needed to do the right thing once again. He needed to be strong and let Castiel go and not let his marriage fall apart over this.

“Of course,” Castiel murmured, pulling the ring out of his pocket and presented it to Dean. “I should have realised. He wrote your address down at the bottom of his essay, I realise now that he was trying to fix something that… can’t be fixed.”

Dean reached out to take the ring, pocketing it with a nod. Castiel turned to leave, but Dean hovered, seeing his pizza arrive.

“One large pizza, half pepperoni, half ham and mushroom?” The guy called out, stepping out of his car with the box in question

Dean winced as Castiel stopped dead. It was their order, the pizza they’d always used to split on a Friday night, their movie night. Castiel had always been oblivious to pop culture references, and Friday’s during high school had been the night where Dean would educate him on the classics. They’d get pizza and drink their parents’ beer and cuddle on the couch together.

“That’s right,” Dean choked out, tipping the guy a stupidly high amount in order to get him to leave quickly. He could see Castiel was still there, still staring at him and he bit his lip. “You… you want to come in and grab a beer?” he asked, awkwardly. “Maybe share the pizza? I still fucking hate mushrooms… never been able to stop ordering this though.”

Castiel nodded, slowly walking towards Dean and stepping inside the house. “You have a lovely home, Dean. My condolences about Lisa. I understand now how difficult it must have been for you.”

“Ben and I handled it. It was harder for him than me,” Dean replied awkwardly. He shouldn’t have invited Castiel in. What else could they say to each other? It had been a long time since they last chose to be in the same room together. “I… I’m sorry, I don’t want to interrupt your plans. I know you want to talk, but I’m sure we can figure something out around your schedule. It’s Friday night,” he added at Castiel’s confusion. “Surely you have plans with your husband?”

Castiel blinked at him in confusion. “My… husband? Dean, I’m not married,” he spoke slowly. “Why would I ever marry someone that wasn’t you? All those times I told you that I never had a bond with anyone else, those weren’t just empty words. It was you or nobody. I’ve never felt like that about another person. Just you.”

Hope roared in Dean’s chest like a flame. Bright and hot and painful all at once. It burned through every nerve in his body.

“But… Novak?”

“I ran away, Dean. When you broke up with me, we were barely more than kids. I didn’t handle it well. I packed my stuff and I left, and I didn’t want anyone coming after me. I just wanted to forget, I wanted to be a different person. I never got married, Dean. I just changed my name.”

Dean stepped forward on impulse, his hands framing Castiel’s face, thumb running over his lips. “What about changing it again?” He choked out. “God, Cas, I never thought…”

Castiel laughed weakly, tears brimming as his hand came up to cover Dean’s, leaning into the touch. “Are you asking me to marry you again, Dean? Maybe you should start by kissing me.”

Dean lowered his lips to Castiel’s, but hovered a few inches away. He didn’t want to screw this up again, he wanted to be certain that he would get to keep Castiel this time.

“What about fixing something that can’t be fixed?” he whispered, closing his eyes and bumping their noses together.

“Everything can be fixed with a little time, Dean.” Castiel replied, closing the gap before Dean had any more time to overthink things.

Their lips brushed together lightly, chastely, a mere touch of a memory that both had clung onto for so long. It wasn’t like the movies. The years apart and the pain and heartbreak on both sides didn’t just disappear. They were both older, wiser, with more responsibilities and too much of a history of pain to forget the past. They needed to rediscover where they fit into each other’s lives, how they fit together. There was more to think of than each other and a childhood love that had never quite faded.

But this was a start.

**Author's Note:**

> [MY TUMBLR](http://blueeyedangel.co.vu)


End file.
